Episode 9: The Wild Mother
We’re back with Season 2 of The Cycle Coach Show, and we're opening the season with a powerful conversation between Lauren and Olivia Waller—also known as @cyclicallyolivia. Olivia is a women’s hormone health practitioner, mother, and graduate of Cycle Coach School, and in this episode, she shares her journey of becoming a mother and how it transformed her personal life, business, and creativity.
Together, Lauren and Olivia explore the inner shifts that happen when you move from maiden to mother, and the deep initiations that aren't often acknowledged in our culture. From navigating pregnancy without the guidance of a menstrual cycle, to reclaiming creativity in early motherhood, Olivia invites us to see this transition not as a loss of self, but as a powerful process of becoming.
If you've ever wondered what it really means to embrace the wild mother within—or how to hold onto your creativity, identity, and power while caring for others—this episode is for you. Click play to hear Olivia’s story and start your own rewilding.
Resources and Links:
About Olivia Waller:
Olivia is a women's hormone health practitioner and menstrual cycle coach. She's a mom of an adventurous toddler and she combines her education in nutrition and hormonal health with her training in menstrual cycle awareness, which provides a very holistic experience for her clients rooted in nourishing the mind, body and spirit.
Instagram: @cyclicallyolivia
Website: www.cyclicallyolivia.com
Substack: Rewilding with Olivia Lauren
Stay connected:
Cycle Coach School Website: https://www.cyclecoachtraining.com
Cycle Coach Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyclecoachschool/
Claire's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_clairebaker_/
Claire's Website: https://www.clairebaker.com/
Lauren's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/laurenoliviahughes/
Lauren's Website: https://findingjulian.com/
Transcript
Olivia Waller (00:01.92)
I would just really encourage anyone traversing the path of motherhood to explore these parts of themselves and like, don't let yourself lose touch because everyone says you will. If anything, let it be an act of rebellion and reclamation to like really root into these authentic, natural parts of you and let that flavor what motherhood looks like for you.
Claire Baker (00:27.98)
Welcome to the Cycle Coach Show.
Empowering conversations on menstrual cycle coaching.
We're your hosts, Claire Baker.
and Lauren Olivia Hughes.
Claire Baker (00:54.456)
Hello everybody and welcome to season two of the Cycle Coach show. I'm Claire Baker and I'm here with my co-host Lauren and we are so excited to be back with you all for season two.
I can't believe it. It feels like such a long time. And I'm so excited to get back into it and to hear all these conversations that we have coming up.
Yeah, this is going to be a really fun season. So when Lauren and I were chatting about our ideas for season two of the show, we individually both came to the conclusion that what we really wanted to talk about was our alumni from the school and a little bit of a like, where are they now to look at our graduates of cycle coach school and see what.
they're doing with the teachings and what work they're sharing with the world and how they've blended the various trainings and studies that they've done and how they're birthing menstrual cycle awareness wisdom all over the world. So, that's been really fun actually to like brainstorm together about who we wanted to speak with and what areas of the work, what industries we wanted to highlight and it's going to be a really fun season.
Yeah, I get to see snippets of the alumni through marking assessments or writing these like beautiful celebratory posts for when they're certified. So I just was able to kind of spew topics at you, Claire, and then you were like going down the list of alumni to like pull out these really beautiful women. And so it's going to be absolutely magical to hear where they are in the world.
Lauren Olivia Hughes (02:38.872)
The impact they have on this very new industry and just how they're weaving this menstrual magic into everything that they do.
So we've been teaching this curriculum since 2019 and we've trained over 200 facilitators now in 27 countries, which is pretty cool. So it was no mean feat to decide who we wanted to chat with and we really wanted to focus on the topics. And something that I've always been, has been really close to my heart with this work is that cycle coaching is not just about teaching.
women how to chart their menstrual cycles. It's really about integrating this into our lives. And so what's been awesome is that I'm seeing our graduates and our alumni going out into the world and bringing menstrual cycle awareness to the realms of creativity, in relationship coaching, in policy making, in developing beautiful products that nourish the female body, like one-on-one coaching, corporate work, hosting circles and retreats, like.
writing books, you know, like the list just goes on and on. It's so varied and I feel really proud to share, yeah, and celebrate just, you know, a handful, but, hopefully, you know, a great overview of just how big an impact facilitators all over the world, you know, are having on their communities, bringing menstruality and menstrual cycle awareness to the people that they work with.
And simultaneously, I feel like it's quite inspiring for new students or recent graduates to hear these conversations and to know there is such diversity in what you can offer, because I think sometimes it could feel overwhelming to graduate or to even consider a program and not necessarily know that you'll leave having this very specific designation. Whereas it's a bit more like creative and free form that you can just like take pieces from the training and infuse it into your existing work or create something brand new.
Lauren Olivia Hughes (04:30.862)
It's inspired me just to see these women and the businesses they've created and to get to chat with them this season. I can't wait.
So let's backtrack a little bit because I want to check in with you as we always begin our episodes and hear whereabouts you are in your menstrual cycle today and what's going on for you.
Yeah. I think even just thinking of where we were last season when we started, we were together in Oxford and now I'm in Edinburgh, Scotland. Today, I'm officially 30 weeks pregnant. Woo-hoo. With my very first miscellaneous baby. Not sure what we're having. Very excited. We're due in July. Yeah. I've been feeling quite connected to this cyclical work. Surprisingly, I thought I would feel a bit lost without that monthly menstruation. But if anything, it's connected me more deeply to the work because I can see the benefits of that essentially toolkit that I created of how to support my cycle throughout the month. It's just extended across now 10 months. Being able to show up and tune in with my physical body to be like, okay, what does she need today? Does she need more rest? Does she need to move? Does she need to eat a ton of food? And also just being able to connect with the little being inside too, especially I, yeah, my placenta is on the front of the womb, so I couldn't feel it moving for quite some time. And now it's just like the little kicks and stuff and getting to like, I mean, I definitely like poke it. Are you still in there? And yeah, touching on the conversation we had last season, connecting that with my ADHD and being curious and surprised with how that kind of shows up as well of just that object permanence of sometimes forgetting that pregnant until I see a mirror and I'm like, God, even now. And so it's just been fun. It's been a good experience. Definitely highs and lows. And you know, I am a cancer son, so there's been many tears as the changes kind of happen, especially with the physical body and expanding. But yeah, I'm feeling excited and it's going to be fun having these conversations from this new perspective.
Mm-hmm. It's so wonderful. I'm so thrilled for you My love. So 30 weeks.
For you.
Yeah, can you believe it? Awesome. Whereabouts are you in your cycle? How is it feeling?
Claire Baker (06:55.094)
So I am on cycle day 18 today, which puts me, um, seven days past ovulation. So I'm like smack bang in the luteal phase today and I'm feeling pretty like soft and spacey today. I telling Lauren earlier, I had a bit of a mishap with an electric kettle in a stove top today and yeah, just some, some technological challenges. So I feel pretty proud of myself for making it to this podcast episode. And I'm in an interesting point and we might talk about this a little bit more in a future episode, but trying, I mean, four months now into the trying to conceive TTC baby making journey. So I'm a bit behind you and yeah, it's been pretty wild. And I've also been incredibly grateful for my menstrual cycle awareness practice while embarking on this. I feel like I've been on a fertility journey for a long time. I feel like I've really been in a preconception phase for years, honestly, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, but the actual practicalities of having, you know, baby making sex have well and truly begun now. And so yeah, it's been up and down, I would say, and super eliminating process. So we can speak about that some more another time, but this leads me into our today's episode. And when we were talking about this theme of menstrual cycle awareness out in the big bad world, what really stood out for us both was motherhood. And it's a topic that's very alive for us both, in different ways at the moment. But it's also something that has been really present through the, well, through my entire career, honestly, as a, as a menstrual cycle coach.
But certainly within the training itself, you know, we work a lot with the archetypes. So working with the maiden to mother transition and working with, you know, the enchantress archetype in the crone. And the mother is one that yeah, often ignites a lot of really interesting conversation. we talk about ways that we can work with that with our clients. And I see so many of our graduates and alumni out there doing such beautiful work with mothers. And so we decided to dedicate the first two episodes of this whole season to mums because mums are awesome. And we're speaking today with Olivia Waller and next episode where you'll be hearing from Monique Dickson, both of whom bring such a nuanced, embodied, dynamic, magical, and really wise, and very pragmatic at times as well, to the intersection of motherhood with menstrual cycle awareness and you kicked off this season Lauren interviewing Olivia and I loved hearing you both speak about the ways that our culture sort of positions motherhood as like a sacrifice. And I loved hearing Olivia speak about how she has reclaimed motherhood for herself and as an offering for this, for her child. And it was just so beautiful hearing the way that her work with mums and those, you know, women who are in preconception is not just about the practicalities of making a baby and hormonal health and preparing the body, but also about the emotional and spiritual transition as well and how the archetypes have played into that for her too. It was such a beautiful conversation. I can't wait for everybody to hear it. What really stood out to you?
Yeah, it was wonderful to speak with Olivia in this capacity because I've been a fan of hers for quite some time and we've been in each other's circles and spheres of influence. But I loved her language that she used because I think for myself, it was quite affirming as I transitioned into that like mother role and a more official capacity beyond just like birthing projects and birthing business ideas and the other forms motherhood could take.
It was assuring for me that I wouldn't need to become that martyr, that sacrificial lamb to the altar of Havi to baby. And I'm sure there'll be different changes in seasons when this little life comes Earth side. But it just felt really nice and celebratory to speak with her and to be reminded of like our power, which is what I've really been resonating with myself throughout this pregnancy of just feeling like and utter goddess really. I feel like in all of my body just transforming and knowing exactly what it needs to do. And then just like coming up with, coming against that like real world interaction of like, yeah, well that's what women do. Like that's just, it just happens every day. it's, no, it's so cool. And we need to be celebrated more. And so it just, it felt like a very nourishing conversation for me in this season of life. So I hope that others resonate with her and her work as well.
Claire Baker (11:56.78)
Before we dive into today's episode, I just want to let you know that enrollments for Cycle Coach School for 2025 are now officially open. This will be our seventh year running the training and
It's for anyone feeling the call to guide, educate or support others through menstrual cycle awareness. The course begins on Tuesday, June the 24th of 2025 and spots always feel quickly. Since 2019, we've trained over 200 facilitators in 27 countries. And so if you would like to join us, you can see the full syllabus and apply at cyclecoachtraining.com. We would love to have you in the circle this year.
Claire Baker (12:41.282)
So as well as being an alumni of cycle coach school, Olivia is a women's hormone health practitioner and menstrual cycle coach. She's a mom of an adventurous toddler and she combines her education in nutrition and hormonal health with her training in menstrual cycle awareness, which provides a very holistic experience for her clients rooted in nourishing the mind, body and spirit. And I can't wait for you to hear this conversation. Let's go now to the episode.
Welcome to Olivia Waller, known as cyclically Olivia on Instagram. She is a women's hormone health practitioner, a menstrual cycle coach, and I'm so excited that she's here for the first episode of Cycle Coach Show. So welcome, Olivia.
Thank you, I'm so excited to be here.
And before we get too deep into your beautiful business and all the offerings that you've created, I'd love to ask what cycle day are you on today and how is it feeling?
Olivia Waller (14:02.926)
Yeah, I am cycle day 13 and I mean it's 9 a.m. so just kind of settling in here after getting my sun started for the day but so far it's feeling good. I know I'm on the transitional days between my inner spring and inner summer. These days for me just feel different in motherhood. Those are the days especially like where I feel like I really want to create and express, but the season that I'm in asks me to do less in that realm. So it can be a bit of a stretch, but feeling good otherwise, just really grounded.
That's beautiful. And I'm excited to hear about like those differences and the evolution you've seen in your business and in your personal life too, of course. I'm in terms of cycle day, speaking of motherhood, as you know already, in my 28th week, I believe at this point, so officially in the third trimester, experiencing some new symptoms as I've mentioned to a few friends, but last week I sneezed and peed my pants. So that was a new one.
That was a new one for me. was like, luckily I was planning in my kitchen and it was totally fine. Now I'm much more cautious when I read the heads. Not to sneeze and pack extra underwear. All right. Now that we've shared, let's start from the beginning because I know about your business as it stands now a bit. And of course we will get into that, but I would love to hear about how you started. Where did you begin this journey with hormonal health and menstrual cycle awareness?
Yeah, there's so many layers to this. So I might get a little deep, but hopefully we have time for it. It was really interesting in college. So I had been on hormonal birth control since I was 14. I was originally prescribed by my dermatologist for acne that was hormonal and was not properly educated on like how hormonal birth control just masks and shuts down our hormonal system and cycles.
you know, my mother, bless her, didn't know any better. She was like, okay, like we've tried everything else. Like this is it. And I just had so many symptoms. Like I was just not myself, but I didn't get off until I was, I think I was 21 or 22 when I moved to the copper IUD. But during college, I ended up getting really sick. Just very suddenly, I was a competitive dancer before I was really like active and just naturally full of energy. And I ended up getting really sick where I was like passing out and having seizure like symptoms. They were non-epileptic, so they called them spells. And that was what really got me into the realm of holistic health because they just kept telling me like, you're just gonna have to deal with this for the rest of your life. And so I had to connect the dots myself and I actually ended up connecting the dots for like a traumatic experience exactly a year prior. And they had diagnosed me with something called postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, which is now becoming more prevalent in common post-COVID actually. But the way it's diagnosed is really similar to adrenal fatigue and dysfunction with a tilt table test. So I ended up going back to school for holistic nutrition. That's where the rabbit hole started.
And I just started weaving together all of these pieces of my own experience and it just made so much sense. That's really where I found my passion for Women's House. It was a big focus in the program as well. And then I just got deeper and deeper. I did more education and training with Nicole Jardim as well, the author of Fix Your Period, if you know her. And then I also did psycho coach school, obviously. Yeah, just the layers of the depth. Like as I kept getting deeper, it...
made so much sense. So it kind of started as a journey of trying to find the answers because no one else could give them to me. But then it became more about like having this deep connection with my body and this relationship. And there are just so many things that our body tells us, oftentimes like in a loud screaming symptom type way, but
For me, luckily, I don't experience that anymore. It's more of these subtle nudges. And yeah, so I've gotten more into the depth of like the energy and the spiritual emotional connection as well over time and through embodied experience. But that's kind of what brought me through this journey so far. Like I mentioned, I got off of hormonal birth control at 21 or 22, got on the copper IUD for a couple of years, luckily. Like I had a fine experience on that, but then I learned of fertility awareness.
Olivia Waller (18:18.242)
from Nat Doday, lovely Nat, learned that from her, got off the copper IUD and she's also who brought me to cycle coach school actually, I should give her a shout out for that too. And yeah, and then just living deeply in alignment with my cyclical nature ever since. So that's that.
It always fascinates me how interwoven this quote unquote industry is, how we all kind of crossed paths with each other in many ways. But then your story reminds me of why, right? Our medical system isn't educated or built in a way to support us. And I find even within my friendship groups and with clients and stuff, you almost have to psych them up and prepare them to go to their GP, because it's a great resource, but it's like...
they might not know, and then you might have to be the detective. And so to find people such as yourselves who've taken it upon themselves to educate themselves and then turn around and coach others and support others, it's just so encouraging and inspiring and exciting that hopefully the next generation can come up in a bit more of a supportive community, I suppose, or a bit more knowledgeable and educated way. I'm curious to know, so this is how you kind of began your career. At what point did your own motherhood journey kind of begin in that experience.
Yeah. So I, on a whim, well not on a whim actually, I mean like it kind of felt impulsive, but it was a long time coming where I finally quit my corporate job. It feels like a past life honestly, but we've all been there at some point I feel like. And then I like right away got accepted into Cycle Coach School in the program. And it was really during that time where we were we were exploring the archetypes and I really made peace with my inner maiden. Like I hadn't done much exploration. Like I knew of inner child work and like I knew of the maiden, but the work we did and the visualization Claire led us through. I really see that as the turning point for me to be like, okay, I felt ready to then enter the next season of meeting my inner mother and becoming a mother. And it was so synchronistic as well because after that visualization,
on one of our calls, suddenly owls started appearing in my backyard. And as most people know, owls are nocturnal, so to see them in the light of day is pretty rare. And I just saw the owls as these symbols of like the wise mother and also the wild mother being connected to nature and all of that. So I just started noticing these synchronicities and like these alignments between conversations I was having with my partner, Matthew, and kind of our vision together.
of the life we're creating and wanting to create, it just felt natural. But that's where that took form. So it was really interesting because, you know, then we went on to conceive really quickly. Thank you to fertility awareness and that knowledge. But pregnancy for me was a really big challenge. I think we often hear about the physical components, like the symptoms, you know, how the body expands physically, but
I wasn't prepared for the spiritual and emotional shifts that came with my sense of self immediately. For me, it was immediate. Some people, they might not experience it until later in pregnancy or even after birth, but for me, it was immediate and I felt very lost. My anchor in the prior years had been my menstrual cycle. That was my guiding light at all times and suddenly, I get the beautiful two positive lines on my pregnancy test and that's gone.
Like it's suddenly gone. And yeah, I just felt really lost and no one prepared me for that. So it was like this deep initiation of my own soul work. And I kind of hermited for a while in my own world. I didn't know how to share. I didn't know how to talk about what I was going through because I wasn't sure yet. Like I had to do that exploration myself. And I wish I had someone that understood these aspects of it to guide me through it because it was a lot to navigate on my own, but
this experience of my own pregnancy and exploring those shadows that came up and my evolving sense of self, excuse me. Now I support women in this as one of my offerings called Becoming because you're really becoming a new person. Not only are you creating life, but you are birthing a new sense of self as well. That whole experience is how motherhood has shaped my work.
I mean, it's not like you give birth and you have become who you are meant to be. I mean, in essence, you have become this new version of you, but even two years into motherhood, I'm still becoming who I'm meant to be because we are ever evolving. Yeah, my son just turned two on like 11 days ago. I had to count for a minute. And I've just been deep in this portal of reflection because in these two years, like how has this shaped and shifted me as well? And it's just been.
Really incredible to like witness because every age and stage for him has meant like a new season of me as well. know, less sleeping, less naps, less time for me. Like how can we weave the space that we have into these pockets of opportunity without having like a full blown day to ourselves and life to ourselves anymore. And yeah, so I hope that answers it and we can get deeper if more things came up for you, but that's kind of in a nutshell how that all came to be.
Yeah, I'm intrigued to hear maybe because like that's where I'm at is that that point in pregnancy because I remember you and I've had this conversation around the use of like the word mama and people being like, mama and you're like, I don't associate with that word yet. And I remember feeling so caught off guard when someone said it to me for the first time and I instantly thought of you because I was like, yeah, what is this? And I wonder if you see it in your clients or just in your friendships and conversations, but like, what is that?
Spiritual or emotional transformation that we go through that's not fully acknowledged by society because I feel like we get pregnant and then all of sudden people are like, just you wait for this, just you wait for that. It's almost like doom and gloom, but also like trying to skim over feelings. It's just like a weird duality. Like there's so many different components to it, but I wonder if you have a perspective on that or what you've seen in your own work.
Olivia Waller (24:31.626)
Yeah, for me, I mean, in my perspective, many mothers get left behind in modern society. Like, you know, maybe we have friends that have chosen that parenthood is not the path for them. So they don't have the embodied experience and understanding of what we're going through. So in that essence, even if they're not like actively trying to leave us behind, they don't know how to necessarily support us on this journey, as well as like our modern society is pretty individualistic.
even more so since COVID. And in that we've kind of lost the village. So while there's the excitement of baby, we've really lost touch with the rite of passage of what is becoming a mother. so for me, early in pregnancy, people calling me mama when I did not yet feel like a mother, yes, I was pregnant and carrying life, but it just felt like a disregard of my sense of self so quick. Like you're gone, the old you is gone, you're made in self.
Hmm.
Is’s gone and you are a mama. And I wasn't ready to accept that yet because I was still grappling and unraveling these layers. And it's really interesting because I have one beautiful client. Well, I have more than one client, but one client in particular that I'll reference anonymously here, who we started working together in her preconception phase in my container becoming because she wanted to prepare her mind, body and spirit like for these spiritual and emotional shifts of becoming a mother before like the hormonal shifts forced her.
And she said to me at the end of one session, the very session, like two days later, she found out she's pregnant. And she said, I am so glad, you know, along the lines, I'm paraphrasing here, but I'm so glad I have done this work because now I feel ready to be a mother and to become a mother rather than like my hormones forcing me. And I just thought that was so powerful. Like, so some people even are ready and ready to embrace the role of mother in early pregnancy, but I really think it had to do with doing that.
work in preconception, not just that physical body focus. There were other pieces you touched on and now I'm losing track here. Maybe just remind me and reground me for a second.
Yeah, I'm just wondering if you've had a lot of experience with that evolution that people go on during their pregnancy season that you were touching on. know even from my experience, like my due date's like a week before my birthday. And so even just people being like, well, say goodbye to your birthday. what? I can't have one day? Like it's such a weird, like, and maybe that's a whole other question, but it's such a weird, like, oh, you have to sacrifice everything to be a mother. You have to like.
give up your whole self. And I know like that's not your work at all. Like you're the complete opposite of just, but like, what is that? What is that like gross?
Olivia Waller (27:11.982)
There's so much to name in that, isn't there? And speaking of birthdays, I just want to touch on this quick because I really think, and I hope people can take this and change it for themselves. While, yes, it's important to celebrate your child and the birth of your child and every year that they get to live life because aren't birthdays phenomenal? I love birthdays. I love celebrating people. But I think an aspect of birthdays for the child also needs to appreciate the mother.
Like this child is here because the mother offered, I like to say offered instead of sacrifice, it's an offering, offered her vessel for creating life. So like even in the smallest way, like making an acknowledgement of the mother that gave birth to the child, whether it's like giving her flowers or just saying like happy birth date to you or birthing day, like whatever phrasing makes sense, I think is really important. But yeah, I wish I could like name why
people are so quick to just disregard the role of the mother. There are so many aspects in our modern society that just see it as like the self-sacrifice and like in ways it like there are shadow times, right? Like in ways it can feel like, I'm sacrificing so much. But like if we can realign and recenter and ground ourselves in like the joys of this season of life and this chapter of life that we get to offer our being like we are this magical.
vessel and channel of creation that gets to experience this and create life and evolve as ourselves. I just think it's so important. And like even the whole thing of baby showers, while I think they can be really fun and cute, I personally had a mother blessing. Like it felt really important to me to honor my rite of passage from maiden to mother and be seen and celebrated and witnessed in that rather than playing like fun baby-esque games, which like I'm not saying that's not good for people. Like if that feels aligned and celebratory for you, that's great. But like for me, I needed to be witnessed in what I was going through and evolving in. And yeah, I just, it's so hard to put, like I really come back to how this all started. It's like way, back when, when they started disconnecting women from their own bodies. And I think this is another point of disconnection where it shifts the focus to baby and mother becomes disempowered.
100 % agree with you on that because I have many women in my life who have become mothers and it's been really wonderful to witness, but going through this pregnancy, like I almost feel like separate from myself sometimes. Like I'm just like witnessing my body as like another party. And just like, how are we not praised as goddesses all the time? I'm like, my body, like I'm not doing anything. Like I'm eating well, I'm resting, you know, like going for walks, kind of thing, like taking care of myself. Your body just knows how to transform into basically a portal to a whole other world. And yet we're kind of seen as or discounted as the martyrs or celebrated if you're sacrificing for your children versus I love that idea of having an offering almost at birthdays to be like, happy birthday. You did this. You gave your body to this creation of a human being. Your body made a human being from scratch. That's so freaking cool. And actually like celebrating women instead of discounting it. was like, well, yeah, everyone does it. It's like, okay, but I did it and that's really cool.
And every birthing experience and pregnancy experience or like, you know, not everyone births and is pregnant with their own child and they receive their child in other ways. Like all of that is so unique. It's like everyone's initiation is different and deserves to be celebrated and witnessed and acknowledged. And it's just such a shame when it's not because when the mother is held, she has so much deeper capacity to hold.
Olivia Waller (31:07.39)
her child and the family unit and participate and connect and community and provide whatever offerings or pieces of herself out into the world in whatever ways feels aligned. And if she's not held, like I said, it's just this place of disconnection and disempowerment and feeling like really alone and struggling. And then it becomes more of that sacrificial energy because every mother needs to be helped, you know?
And thank you for extending that definition of mother to obviously include women who adopt women who use surrogacy, all these beautiful different paths and avenues. I'm really enjoying learning the language that you're using. It's just been, it's like full body tingles. And I'd to kind of weave towards, as you kind of mentioned in passing this offering, becoming, so your mothering, mentoring space. And how did that come about? How did you birth that idea?
Yeah, it's really interesting. I went back in one of my journals recently. Like I was trying to find notes on something else and it's like my creativity journal that I started in postpartum actually because after giving birth so many ideas, like the portal of creation quite literally expanded and opened and so many ideas were flooding to me. So I got this, actually I have it, my cute orange, you know, creative fire notebook. And I went back and I was...
I was doing a lot of morning pages and postpartum when Milo, my baby, was napping and I had that time to myself. That's back when he napped a lot more, right? And so I would just dump in the three pages of free form writing, that's by Julia Cameron. She dubbed morning pages in the artist's way. And this idea, I was just reflecting on my becoming and this word kept coming up, becoming, becoming, becoming.
Olivia Waller (32:54.176)
And I noticed it because the word stuck with me, but then it left, know, life got busy, things, disruptions happened. And then the name came back to me and I was like, yeah, becoming like it's a process of becoming. then just again, reflecting on my experience of like, okay, yes, I have my background in holistic nutrition and hormone health. I know like all the physicals and yes, they're important, but I think in our health and wellness space, it almost becomes too much of a focus. And I see that as like too much of a focus on doing, know, many people preparing the physical vessel in their body for pregnancy, wonderful, necessary. But then it's like this rabbit hole of getting into, I need to read these books and learn how to mother. And this is what I need to do in pregnancy.
This is what I need to do during labor and delivery and birth and you get really stuck in your head and the logistics and that's not the place you want to be during labor at all. You really want to be dropped into the body. So instead of like that being the focus, while it's still of course a tool and my toolkit for my work and it comes up naturally, it just felt really important to acknowledge the spiritual and emotional shifts during pregnancy. Like I mentioned, one client started with me in preconception and ot's even a space for like, if you're already a mother, you your becoming never ends. The process of motherhood is a becoming in itself.
So I just wanted to make space of that to really honor the rite of passage from maiden to mother. And the way that this happens looks different for each person because like I stated, initiation is so unique to whatever they're experiencing. So we kind of go to the depths of that and explore that. But yeah, I had no idea. So I just like physically birthed this as an offering in October, so like six months ago or so, right? Yeah, six months. But the idea came to me as the initial dream seed in June of 2023, postpartum. But I didn't know like, to what extent this would come to life. So I think that also really illuminates how motherhood can shift the cycles of creation because you know, when we're really rooted in our menstrual cycle and like, yes, I'm cycling now again, that came back six months postpartum for me. I really tune into larger, bigger cycles, like the seasons, for example, because time in motherhood is just very different and creating within one menstrual cycle is not as feasible as it once was. So yeah, that's kind of how all that came to be.
How do you see your creativity or even just your alone time? How has that evolved in your business and everything since you've had Meelo?
Yeah, I kind of hinted at it at the beginning when we did our cycle check-in. yeah, so in my inner spring and inner summer now, I would say these are actually my biggest times of tension in my menstrual cycle, simply because yes, my energy is rising, but my capacity is the same. My capacity is the same in motherhood, as in I am my child's primary caretaker, so I am both mother and business and creative. But first and foremost, in this season, he comes first. now that he's two and naps maybe an hour a day, those pockets are like my pocket to myself is one hour. And that doesn't always mean actively working in business in our typical terms of working. So I have to find the pockets. like for me, that's we are blessed to live in literal nature. We step outside. We live in the mountains of Colorado.
Really grateful to be here every day. And that's when those little seeds of inspiration begin to plant themselves. Like I refer to them as dream seeds. A lot of it's just a reflection of nature and what's happening around me, our embodied experience day to day. And yeah, like postpartum, like I said, that creation, literal birth portal opening, creating life, bringing life earth side, really awaken something different in me. You'll know it when you go through it. I know it's hard to put to words something so ethereal and magical until you have that embodied experience. yeah, so like I've stated every season and stage and age of Milo's growth as a child has really asked me to continue to surrender. think motherhood is a and I write of passage, like made into mother pregnancy, motherhood, all of the things is the biggest invitation of surrender again and again.
It's the biggest humbling I've ever been through. And so like, you know, when he was a newborn, napping like three plus times a day, they say sleep with when babe sleeps, but I had a lot of creative energy that I needed to process and integrate and work through. And that didn't necessarily mean birthing it out into the world, but like integrating it within my being was really important. But now that he's in toddlerhood, like we'll have times of creation together, like on our, on the den calls our creative hours that you hosted, watercolor painting together, and witnessing his becoming as well, he's becoming a person, right? That has given me inspiration. So I would just really see it all as this reflection and mirror that we keep going off of each other and feeding into each other's energy. And yeah, I've been in this process of deep self-discovery, rediscovery of my creative self. I was a really creative child, and I lost that along the conditioning and, you programming of school, if you will. And yeah, this is all like the past couple of years have brought me back to that and has really helped shape my business. Because our life is what holds and shapes and nurtures our business. And while at times it can seem like a really slow season in business, like I'm not sharing a whole lot on Instagram or I'm talking about my offerings all the time or, you know, writing posts or emails or whatnot. like these life experiences
This embodiment is what eventually feeds the creation that comes in time. So yeah, it's been a beautiful path of surrender and humbling myself over and over.
Lauren Olivia Hughes (39:04.558)
And I love what you say about just like the personal kind of informing the professional because I work with a lot of women who are entrepreneurs and creatives. And it's just like, that's what the biggest reminder is, is to like, please be yourself. Please like show those like dualities and like the vulnerabilities and the scary bits and just also your personal life. Like, and I think you do that so beautifully. And obviously I don't want to be like Instagram versus reality because I know a bit of both for you that like there is that nuance of motherhood, but I also wonder if we could touch on your new baby that you got recently. Because I think it's such a cool, I'd love to hear about this experience. So Olivia recently acquired a Yeah. And I just think it's such a beautiful, yeah, I love to hear this story because I just think it's wonderful as like a mom of a two year old that you're like still pursuing these like very wild dreams of like how.
Olivia Waller (39:59.662)
Yeah, I'll touch on this, like the background of it too, because I think it helps feed into the story a little bit. So growing up, I was a wannabe horse girl. In the essence that I lived in the suburbs, you know, there wasn't the space for a horse in our yard or something. So I went to like horseback riding camps in the summer, eventually found a stable somewhat close to me, close enough where my parents would be like, fine, like we'll drive out there, can do some lessons and stuff.
And then like worked my way up over time. ended up being like a barn handler at the horseback riding camps when I was a teenager and stuff. And so it was just a lot of fun. And one of my phases in college, I was going to school for animal science pre-vet med. And then that's when I got really sick and had it started. Well, I also got a horse in college for the first time. like my dad always said no and then over the years saved money, came across this opportunity. I was working at one of the barns near campus and this horse came, was at the barn, became available for sale and I was like, I want this horse. Right now it was like, you don't need to buy a horse. And I was like, watch me. But then a couple of months later, I ended up getting really sick as I shared earlier and was having these seizure-like symptoms where I was passing out and that crushed the dream, right? I couldn't ride a horse safely and suddenly pass out.
That's gonna get us both hurt. I couldn't pursue vet med because I mean that can involve surgery and searchers and all of those things. So it's like my dream was over. One of my concepts that I've been teaching lately is like rewilding as expansion. And I look at some archetypes, not just maiden and mother, but the untamed maiden. So the maiden who, you know, if we think of our maiden years from like birth to 25, like we look at in psycho coach school.
Along those lines in early adolescence in school and such, the untamed maiden becomes tamed and our wild, authentic nature start to trade that for more of social acceptance and belonging. So rediscovering my untamed maiden has been this embodied experience for me and it's looked like coming back to horse life.
Olivia Waller (42:11.33)
So my beautiful friends from my 30th birthday surprised me with going horseback riding in the mountains. And, you know, we live in a spot that's really unique. We have a stables in the neighborhood, down the street. And so these dream seats, like the opportunity started aligning itself where it's like, wait, this could become my reality again. And it was during the winter solstice where I literally officially planted the dream seed, created my manifestation board and my horse is a spitting image of the first picture I put on my manifestation board. like, yeah, that's the horse I want.
And I found her and you know, the first time I went to go see her, was in January. I was like, this is it, but how are we going to make this happen? I don't know. You know, logistics, finances, those things, like a horse is not a small feat to take on. And then three days later, she got injured. Like I was just like, whoa, what? And not that I wish that a horse would get injured or anything, but
it allowed things to continue to align and become reality for us. So yeah, I mean, it's just been so wild how it's all come to fruition. And I think, like I mentioned, the wild mother archetype, a deeper rooted, I really see the wild mother as like the foundation has to be that untamed maiden. We have to rediscover the untamed maiden to really root into our wild mother self. You know, the mother archetype is really seen as like nurturing, loving, caring.
It can often be confused with the martyr of like that self-sacrifice and like depletedness, but the wild mother, like if we can root into our own wild essence and tend to that first while tending to others and creation, like the experience is gonna be so much better. And so that's how all of this has come to life for me is like.
these explorings of my own experience and teachings and just manifestation. You're probably more deeply rooted in manifestation. I've been dabbling in it for like the past year or two. I still don't know like all the ins and outs, but you know, speaking to the universe and things, it just comes to me with some aligned action of.
Olivia Waller (44:07.532)
Of course, it's not just going to magically appear, but yeah, it's been so sweet to share this experience with my son. He loves the horses. And now my horse, I named her Solstice, obviously, or Sol for short. And she is so gentle and sweet with him. Not that I'm having him ride her, but like when we interact and go feed her and stuff, like she'll nuzzle him and like let him hold her head. It's just like the sweetest thing. So yeah, I would just really encourage anyone traversing the path of motherhood to explore these parts of themselves and like don't let yourself lose touch because everyone says you will. anything, let it be an act of rebellion and reclamation to like really root into these authentic natural parts of you and let that flavor what motherhood looks like for you because it can be whatever you want it to be, honestly. And I keep finding that out every day.
I love that so much and the word reclamation. I know you use it a lot in your copy and writing, but what a powerful word, especially in relation to motherhood, because I think a lot of us, when you become a mom, of course there's elements from, or maybe not of course, there may be elements from your own mother that you want to replicate, but then there's always, I just feel like there's always gonna be a slight evolution as the generations continue. And so it's just a beautiful word to remember and that concept of the wild mother and the untamed maiden. It's just like, just feel like now I want to go make a vision board, manifest some things. Yeah. Like I said, I know you personally in many ways, but I just love hearing you speak about your work and this capacity because you just see what kind of spaceholder you are and just like igniting those sparks in women of just being like, it can be a spiritual experience. It can be celebratory and it can be like you centered even though you are bringing a whole other person into the picture. So thank you for bringing this work to like the forefront and thank you for like, yeah, continuing to urge other women to become the best versions or not even the best versions, but like their most like magical, like whatever they want to be.
Lauren Olivia Hughes (46:23.822)
So powerful. I think to end, I'm just wondering, is there anything that you would like to touch on, because I know sometimes we kind of go on many different paths and journeys.
Olivia Waller (46:25.532)
Yeah, I think one thing you just stated, like to be centered and like grounded in motherhood, like that came, that brought something up for me as like a tool that I can then offer insight on for others is like not every day we're going to be centered and grounded. I definitely have my moments where I'm like, I quit, quit. can't, know, motherhood is asking me more than I can sustainably give. You know, it's always a moment, but one of the tools that has really supported me is using creativity, creative expression really as self-regulation because, you know, one of the biggest things we need to try to be as mothers is regulated because we have better insights and tools to regulate ourselves and know how to work with our own energy and emotions than our children do. And it can be really dysregulating when they're trying to figure it out and they don't have the words yet and...
the overstimulation of tantrums, crying, throwing themselves on the ground, like that adds up and really can fray our nervous system. having that sense of connection to ourselves and our creative expression and using that as self-regulation, I think oftentimes it can be easy, especially as entrepreneurs, to use our creativity to produce for a certain outcome in our business, but like revisiting it as just a source of self-expression has been such a powerful and embodied way to process and integrate my own emotions and experience and then better be able to regulate myself for my son. And so I just wanted to touch on that piece because I just think it's really, it's just really important. like, even if you don't feel like a creative, really all creativity is, is self-expression. So it just starts with a connection to yourself and especially as a mother, but anyone with a womb.
Olivia Waller (48:20.62)
The womb is a creative portal. It's like our creative center that we can turn to over and over again. So even if you're not walking the path of motherhood, if you have a womb or a cycle or just even follow the cycle of the moon and work and tune into that energy to allow yourself to express, it's really liberating.
And yeah, I love any opportunity to highlight creativity. You and I have that in common because it's just so... It is so powerful, right? That idea of play that I think we're just taught to abandon in lieu of like productivity and money and all the things that it just feels a bit sticky eventually. It's like, about just playing for the sake of playing, inventing, creating? So finding that in motherhood or in your cycle is so powerful to then pass on to the future generations and...
inspire them as well. makes me actually think of, I've been watching the great pottery throwdown. I don't know if you have that. It's like my husband and I have been talking about it because there's this judge, his name's Keith, and he looks like the kindest man, but he's kind of hunched because he's been throwing for probably 50 years. He looks like he could be very scary because he's this big guy, but every episode he cries because he's just so inspired by their creativity. He also cries for the show.
Lauren Olivia Hughes (49:36.598)
When it doesn't turn out and you could tell the person's like, like it didn't work out and it was a failure. And he's like, but thank you for trying. And the two of us are just like, I think he's healing part of my inner child of just this idea of like, you can just experiment. You can just play. could just, and I'm like, this feels like it's landing at the perfect time as like I like, you know, go over the bridge into motherhood to be like, okay, this is the kind of parent I think I want to be. It's just like like really beautiful soul of a person being like.
Thank you for trying and thank you for like experimenting.
I love that so much. Yeah, pottery was like my first re-initiation into creativity, like post-divorce. I was like, what am I going to do for myself? And I was like, I'm going to do pottery. And it's the biggest invitation of, again, well, like motherhood is the biggest invitation of surrender, but also like the creative process of pottery, like because at every step, something can go wrong.
every single step of the process. So it's really like you have to release and surrender expectation and perfectionism and just allow yourself to like play, feel, create and see what comes through. yeah, I mean, like any form of creativity can really provide that. I thought it was like such a nice physical, tangible lesson. Cause you're literally playing with the clay and trying to forge it, but you can't force it. you have to find that flow and it's.
Yeah, it's just such an interesting medium and even like as simple as like I mentioned the morning pages and connecting with your voice and your thoughts and your feelings that is creative expression. Like you don't have to share that with anyone else, but you can if it helps you find your voice in this new sense of self. And that's kind of how I got back into writing too. You know, during school, I let them condition me into thinking that like English and writing and the arts where they didn't have any value. Like they didn't provide a nice career path, if you will. So I was more rooted in the math and science and having the answers and all of those things. But coming back to just finding the words and finding my voice and finding the space and getting comfortable with sharing that has been so nice and so supportive, especially in my path of motherhood. Because in ways, I feel like I haven't had examples of motherhood in the way that I'm traversing motherhood. And so to, as Charlotte states calls it being an edgewalker and creating your own path, it's just so necessary to have your ways of doing that and again, processing and integrating all of it. It's so helpful. So I hope all of this helps others on their journey as well.
I'm seeing so much of my own journey reflected in what you just said too around like the sciences and math being celebrated. And I do love physics. It was one of my best marks, but I also loved creativity. And it was just like, you know, took a long circle to like come back to exactly what I always wanted to do. It reminds you of like speaking of motherhood, like growing up, my mom had highlighted this newspaper article on our fridge and I remember walking by to read it. And I think maybe it was more aimed towards like my middle brother, but it was basically the gist of the article was no matter how much you try as a parent to like shape your kids into who you think they should be, one day you'll wake up and they'll be who they were always meant to be.
And I just love, I love that idea of just like, I found my creativity through pottery as well. And just like that idea of like, can do whatever you want to the clay, but it might just explode or you could get to the final stage and have it and then drop it. And it's very fragile and abrasive. And so it's just like that like surrender or release of just being like those like gentle hands around the pottery wheel as like this child is growing up and like becoming who they want to be. It's yeah, it's very exciting.
Olivia Waller (53:17.61)
I really think they'll show you who they are and who they're meant to be. then in return, like I keep talking about reflection and mirrors, but in return, it will show you who you are and who you are meant to be. Like there is no force. It is just, I really think it's all in the stars, you know, in alignment and it's our path to find it. But yeah, they're on their journey of becoming too. So let's give them that spaciousness and support to explore that for them.
I think that's a beautiful place to end. But before we depart, I'd love to ask you like one final question, which is just kind of from left field. Is that the sport pun? I don't know why I went with sport analogy. What are you reading right now?
Yeah, I just got the Living the Artist's Way. You know, I mentioned the Artist's Way earlier as Julia Cameron's book. It's also by Julia Cameron. It's deepening into one of her aspects, her artist tools, if you will, is called writing for guidance. And it's kind of a deeper exploration of writing for guidance and finding guidance in whatever way you see fit spiritually or religiously who your guides are and how that forms creativity and in living the artist's way. So that's been really fun. Like I literally just got that I think last week. So I'm still in the very beginning of it, but I'm also someone that like picks up books and I receive what I need in the time. And then I put it down, maybe change to a different book. Like I just find it to be this intuitive pull, this energetic pull of like, well, you need a little piece from this, you need a piece from that. And I like come back and forth. I rarely, rarely read a book front to back in one sitting unless it's like, fiction. You know, I'm getting better at coming back to fiction, but I love to learn. So a lot of the maybe dubbed self-help books are kind of what I gravitate to towards the most. But yeah, the creative explorations have been calling to me in the past couple of years. So like I've also recently gotten the creative act by Rick Rubin. Yeah. And so I picked that up for a couple of chapters and then I got Living the Artist's Way, picked that up and I just kind of ebb and flow between them and see what comes through.
Yeah, that's how I love to consume nonfiction as well. I'm a big fiction reader, but nonfiction, just like, it needs to be set aside. Or I also realized, I was like, I don't have to read the chapters in order. Like, there's no reason. That was just like rewilding of my brain of just being like, I could just skip to the chapter I want to read.
Yeah, it's interesting. Yeah, the rewilding of the brain because we have this like perfectionistic mindset kind of like in school, you have to read this book, you have to pull out the themes and like take all the information and digest it and blah, blah. But like where that really came through to me the most was in Women Who Run With The Wolves. Have you read it?
But it's so dirty. no.
Yeah, it's so deep, right? And there are just different chapters or like areas of the book. I don't even know if she calls them chapters really, but it's like, you can look at the table of contents and be like, this is the theme I need support on right now and just dive into that. So that's, that was my first, again, surrender where I was like, okay, this can be my process. It doesn't have to be absorbing the whole book front to back. So it's been really freeing, liberating to do it that way. Yeah.
Lauren Olivia Hughes (56:54.246)
Yeah, I just feel like we're all coming home to like that feminine part of ourselves that can flow and pick one thing up, put the other thing down. It's just, yeah, a beautiful image. Thank you so much for joining us for our first episode of the Cycle Coach. Yes, and tell everyone where they can find you and yeah, what you have coming up.
Olivia Waller (56:57.878)
Yeah, so you can find me on Instagram as cyclicallyolivia. on, well, I recently created a Substack. have three written pieces as of the time of recording this. So like maybe you listen to it down, down your own timeline and it's more into the future. But you can find me on Substack as rewilding with Olivia Lauren. It's really my space to deepen into the layers of my own embodied experience of rewilding.
whether it be motherhood, creativity, business, just life, where I don't feel so restricted by Instagram's like caption limits. So my beautiful mentor, Sophie, actually just shared this analogy where Instagram is the art gallery and Substack is the library and there's room for both. So I just love that. And that's been, again, really liberating in my creative expression. And then my website is cyclicallyolivia. And yeah, currently I...
have limited capacity for one-to-one, but that is what I'm offering. So I have one space opening up again at the time of recording this. So just go look if you feel called and aligned, but I have various mentorships. Like I've mentioned becoming on the rite of passage from maiden to mother, but I also have reflection, which is I have actually just recently rewilded it from being more rooted in hormone health and encyclical living, which it still is. Again, that's like one layer, but it's also become this evolved version where we explore all aspects of being through the spiritual, emotional, like creative self-expression. So that's for mothers and non-mothers, any women, creatives, dreamers, if you will, a space to be supported. And then I have a one-off offering. Like if you just want to get a flavor, I've dubbed it dream seeds where you can have like a one-off session or a week of voice note mentoring and just kind of start to plant the seeds of whatever feels alive for you right now.
Again, that can be like looking at your hormone health, your cycle, those patterns and blueprints or like creative self-expression, all of those things. So there are many flavors to my work and layers and depth and all of that. yeah, many, many options.
Lauren Olivia Hughes (59:06.936)
I love that there's many layers to you as a woman, you know, I'm right there with you. Amazing. Thank you so much. Thanks for listening to this episode of the Cycle Coach Show. If you loved what you heard, then please review, share and subscribe to help us reach more cyclical listeners like you. You can find us on Instagram at @cyclecoachschool or online at cyclecoachtraining.com.
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